Labia plastys and all that v-jazz
Now I’m a strong believer in people taking whatever means they feel necessary to be comfortable in their own skin. Whether it’s something commonplace like hair dye to more drastic measures like plastic surgery. IT’S YOUR CHOICE. But I may have to draw the line at vaginal cosmetics…
-
First up: labia plasty
A labia plasty is surgery to reduce the size of your labia (the inner lips of the vagina). The skin is quite literally cut to an ‘acceptable length’ with a pair of nail scissors. Okay, so they may not be nail scissors, but you catch my drift.
-
Secondly: vajazzle
A process in which gems are glued to your vagina in order to jazz up your flower. Now, I can’t say my friends are into the whole v-jazz fandango, but I did meet a girl the other day who had a Playboy bunny(!) vajazzled (verb?) onto her lady bits.
-
It should totally be a verb. To vajazzle, to be vajazzling, to have vajazzled.
-
Will someone please enlighten me as to what separates an ‘attractive’ vagina from an ‘ugly’ one? I can’t say I’ve seen a lot of vaginas (although googling ‘labia plasty’ certainly did rectify that, oh mon dieu!) but I can’t imagine that an anatomical feature, a vagina, that every single woman has (you’d hope) can be considered so horrendously disturbing that it has to be surgically altered or jazzed up with nail gems and PVA.
-
It’s probably not PVA.
-
It is a ugly word though, isn’t it? Va-gin-a. Erlack.
-
I don’t really have a point. Well except, ladies? Put down the nail scissors and step away from the super glue.
Love yourself!
—
deelyboppers!xo
The Dr. Martens
My prized posessions, take 1 (this was taken the day I got them; many, many eons ago indeed!)
Well, I’ll take that as a compliment!
I have read them, but a very long time ago. They sit on my bookcase collecting dust! I found them hilarious when I was younger but I may have to revisit them after this, haha.
Thank you! xo
My mum is actually a genius.
She captured a daddy long legs in my room but instead of chucking it out the window, she’s decided to keep it in a glass in the kitchen so she can re release it as punishment if I don’t do my college work!
-
S’pose it’s my own fault. I did ask for motivation. (Though if you ask me, this is borderline blackmail.)
-
Anyhoo… I’m off to do some homework. Sacre bleu!
-
deelyboppers! xo
An extract from my favourite book.
“‘And what do you believe in?’
‘War.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I want to see how it will end.’
‘Anything else?’ Gray had resumed his inquistive doctor’s expression.
‘Sometimes,’ said Stephen, who was too tired to be evasive, ‘I do believe in a greater pattern. In different levels of experience; a belief in the possibility of an explanation.’
‘I thought so,’ said Gray. ‘With most people it’s the other way round. The more they see, the less they can believe.’”
—
Gray and Wraysford, Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
-
Dancing Jax by Robin Jarvis
I absolutely adored this book. It had one of the most penetrating cores to the point where I could recite this quotation almost perfectly within seconds of reading it. “Society, that’s the Petri dish where evil flourishes.” Although a modernised tale; rough around the edges and fairly 2-dimensional on the surface, it has an incredible fixation on morale which is subtextually transacted in a beautiful format. “Your beans-on-toast existence”. What better way to denounce such a diabolical, twisted populace?
-Charles Dickens, David Copperfield (via bookmania)
